I drove all the way to Birmingham to see Sultans of Ping FC for the first time last year. That’s how desperate I was to catch them live. They’re still not heading out on lengthy tours, which is why tonight on home turf still feels really special. Now I’m not gonna lie, it’s largely an older crowd as you’d maybe expect, gleefully singing “Gordon is a moron” with the warm up tape, but some have brought their kids and others haven’t given up on being one. Let’s just say it’s gonna get lively! Sultans were always obscure and their audience reflects that wonderfully. It’s typically warm inside The Ritz (jumpers are off) and it’s not far from sold out. In fact I’d say this is what sold out should feel like in here, but it’s an O2 venue, so it’s usually crammed in with as many bodies as they can legally get away with. Rant over, let’s get to the headliners. They don’t fuck around. Ruffled shirts, shades, football kits and shiny leather trousers, Niall takes the mic and they hit us with ‘Back in the Tracksuit’. “We’ve been away a long time” is a bit on the nose, but it’s fun. The mega riffs of ‘Teenage Punks’ follow as the sweat factor rises and we all scream “sex machine”. As openings go, they clearly know what they’re doing. ‘Mescaline’ separates the die hards from the tourists, but ‘Give Him a Ball (And a Yard of Grass)’ brings the room back together. Much to the pleasure of the bloke crowdsurfing. They sound brilliant. Tight and chaotic in perfect measure. Every song is now met with adulation, like ‘2 Pints of Rasa’. These are singalong songs after all. Yes they’re punk, but their heart is indie pop and that makes them an absolute pleasure to be with, it’s a punk party! Honestly, although it’s only been 12 months I’d forgot how good they are and how great songs like ‘Indeed You Are’ are live. The glam clout of ‘Psychopath’ sees Niall employ some of the most bizarre mic technique I’ve ever witnessed. Always a brilliant frontman he’s lost none of the showmanship. As hips girate and the ruffled shirt slowly unbuttons. The rest of the band are no slouches. Belting out a solid and sexual mix of guitar goodness. The cover ‘Five Years’ does drop the momentum, but the sight of Niall’s harmonica (not a euphemism) gets a cheer as they tear into ‘Veronica’ and the pit goes off. It might well be the perfect set as they unleash ‘Michico’. “Now I know you better, I’ve come to the conclusion, eight out of ten of your best friends deserve electrocution” is still one of the best lines in any song ever. ‘Rubberman’ is a deeper cut from an album that’s now hard to find, but I promise you I’m on it. This is what I love about bands like this, they juggle the uncompromising feistiness of a punk ethic with some disarmingly accessible tunes. They’ve managed to maintain some mystery something that rarely happens these days. ‘Wake Up and Scratch Me’ is what I’ve needed after a busy week and this is the song that I’ll be singing constantly for the week to follow. ‘Ladybug Boy’ is next, it’s the song Suede try to write when they want to sound dangerous. It’s packed with menace and a silky swagger. Done the Sultans way of course. ‘Stupid Kid’ has the floor bouncing once more, helped by the spring-loaded floor seeing some get some decent air. For a band with a relatively small recorded output it’s a marvel that there’s so many great songs to choose from. ‘Kick Me with Your Leather Boots’ keeps the tempo set high as bald men cling on to each other with pure joy. I have to laugh as the bloke next to me sings ‘You Talk Too Much’, “please shut up you talk too much” into his partners ear. She does not look impressed. It leads us into the break and things look a bit frosty as hugs are spurned. Before the band return for ‘Let’s Go Shopping’ with added violin which really does sound lovely. The bloke misses his cue to make amends, but the song is a real moment as the crowd sways for one of the more subtle songs in the set. It predictably goes mental for ‘Where’s Me Jumper?’ as pints fly and the pit surges. It is a great song. I will say it’s not their best though, honestly I’d be hard pressed to pick one, they really are that good. ‘Turnip Fish’ sees a section of the pit lie down with their feet in the air. I should inspect the lyrics, but if someone wants to explain this to me, I’m all ears (big ears). It’s brilliant whatever the reason. They finish with a flourish with ‘I Said I Am I Said’ snarling its way to the close, legs split, guitars squeal, it’s pretty epic and I feel half a stone lighter. My first outing with Sultans was amazing, but they topped it tonight. Now, do I dare drop a ton of money on Discogs for that hard to find third album…
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